I was recently contacted by some researchers for the BBC programme ‘Heaven and Earth‘ concerning the emergence of the ‘Chav’ Identity. They insinuated that they would like me to appear on the programme and explain my views on the Chav phenomenon. What they really meant was ‘tell us everything you know, which we will take the credit for, and we will pass on to the presenters.’ So some advice. Don’t talk until you are paid, unless of course you are bored and enjoy talking. Perhaps I will install that paypal link after all…

The researchers also wanted to know if I knew of any ‘Chav’ hotspots in my local vacinity (despite the fact that I had explained in detail that Chavs do not exist and are a media creation.) Their dilema was simple. They didn’t want to shoot ‘Chavs’ in some of the ‘suggested’ areas around Manchester as they are under- going regeneration and investment (Wythemshaw) but were happy to come to my neck of the woods and shoot local kids on the street. Nottingham fits the stereotype at the moment with gun crime etc. I declined their kind offer.

The finished documentary achieved the usual standard: It failed to ask any serious questions or engage any kind of social or political inquiry. The only people to benefit were a few bored members of the public who got to air their prejudices to a wider audience which they could record and watch over and over again.

Slightly bored of seeing the working class ridiculed I have put forward an alternative stereotype for the media to digest called the Shav. If the CHAV are supposedly Council Housed And Violent then the SHAV are Surrey Homed And Vulgar. It is time to turn the clock back to when the upper stratum were the victims of satire and abuse. You can read more about this (and add or disagree with the definition) at http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Shav