Monthly Archives: April 2010

Bookshelf Envy

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Usually my bookshelves are a place of complete order, the kind of categorising which would make a Victorian blush with pride. In its heyday, this entailed novels shelved according to genre/movement/themes. Naturally these ran in alphabetical order apart from my history section, which was filed according to conflict. I am somewhat ashamed/proud to admit that even the shelves were implicit in the archiving as the books generally ascended from light hearted at the base (comedy) to more serious issues (biography/academic) at the top.

But sadly this isn’t the case anymore as I have moved house too many times and am yet to afford myself the pleasure of this obsessive Hornbyesque type ordering. But it will happen. It always does. It’s just a matter of time. And the problem will get worse because the more I read the more I create new categories and realise that some books fall into at least three of these. Does this mean I need to start purchasing multiple copies? Oh dear, that’s a bad thought.

The photograph I’ve attached is from my dining room and has two symmetrical shelves. Who knows what the future will hold, perhaps American literature on the left and European on the right. Time will tell. But for now there is no logical order. I’m learning to let go. I do still require some order and have a ‘review’ section scattered on my bedside table to remind me they’re important and need immediate love and attention. Talking of love…

Selecting five books from these shelves is a difficult task, like asking a parent to name their favourite child. You may know the answer to this in your heart but it’s something you’d never publicly admit to. If you asked me this question in a week or so the list would no doubt change again. In fact I’ve realised I haven’t included The Life of Pi, Betty Blue, The Outsider, Papillion, The Secret River and the ultimate pulp anti-narrative, England Stories by Tim Etchells. I‘m sorry. I love you all the same. Honestly…

Defying Hitler by Sebastian Haffner
‘The first country to be invaded by the Nazis was Germany’ and so begins an alternative cultural and historical analysis of the rise of Fascism. I’ve read all perspectives of the Great Wars from Primo Levi to Antony Beevor but this one really hit home because it showed how everyone was implicit, right down to the office workers who were too afraid to refuse to produce the legal paperwork that made the horrendous atrocities legal.

Dirk Gentley’s Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams
Each girlfriend that I’ve been serious about has been presented with a copy of this book and warned, if you don’t like it, we simply won’t get on. An absurd surreal quantum detective novel, it’s quite simply the finest example of how to produce perfectly balanced sentences. It’s also very funny. I cried when Douglas Adams died. I still think of him a lot now. No-one captures the wonderful absurd beauty of life as he. My favourite character invents a time machine so that he can go back in time to watch programmes he’s missed on TV – as he can’t figure out how to programme his video recorder. Genius.

A Man of his Time by Alan Sillitoe
In the tyrannical figure of Ernest Burton, Sillitoe has created arguably the most powerful despotic figure ever to grace the pages of literature. ‘Burton’ – as he is known by all – is a hard grafting Blacksmith who reigns over his eight legitimate children with an iron fist, demanding loyalty and obedience through a mixture of fear and hatred. If you want to know why Arthur Seaton (Saturday Night and Sunday Morning) turned out like he did and why kids these days ‘don’t know they’re born’ read on.

Captain Corellis’ Mandolin by Louis de Bernières
When I split up with my previous girlfriend – soon after she confessed to not liking Dirk Gently – I went to Kefalonia to read the novel in its natural setting. I couldn’t put it down and was gripped by the amazing, complex love story and the innocence of people thrown into awful circumstances. It also taught me about writing and how important it is to layer a plot to keep the reader intrigued about the resolutions of many characters.

Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier
Yet another historical, romantic novel. Maybe I should start giving this to girlfriend’s instead? My friends had been begging me to read this and like any stubborn male worth his salt I ignorantly argued it was soppy romantic trite. How completely wrong I was. Set to the backdrop of the American Civil war it follows a soldier returning home to his love who in his absence, has built up an amazing friendship with another woman. A tale of endurance and coping in difficult times that will make you cry. Thelma and Louise for those with a historical fetish.

I guess one thing which unites all of my choices is how our environment shapes us and the relationships we have with each other. My environment is one of books and always has been. There are a million friends and situations stacked up and down the three floors to my house, all offering advice and a vast range of emotions. Like writing they open up worlds and offer refuge. Mine is a warm welcoming environment which always finds space for new friends. Megan Taylor and Rod Maddocks are the most recent. Listen to them tell their story on my literary podcast WriteLion 5# or better still, come down and have a chat yourself.

The following blog entry was published with Un: Bound, a great feature where they get writers to discuss their books and the shelves that home them. My suggestion for future book loving bonding is: Your five favourite characters from literature and books you need to read in the country in which they were set. Hmm.

The Thompson Brothers – The movie…

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I’ve spent the last three months on a futile project, trying to get a pair of eccentric greengrocers to agree to me making a documentary about their ‘marvellous’ world. I’d saved up ten thousand pounds to film the project but that now will be coming off my mortgage, which in time will please my son and heir. As I began researching this project it soon became clear that many others had also had similar ideas and had approached the Brothers Grimm direct. I guess I always knew that they wouldn’t go for it, but it was worth the risk. And I think I admire them more for retaining their dignity. One of the brothers said that his girlfriend would leave him if he agreed to the documentary and so I can only hope that she dumps him in the next few months, enabling me to renegotiate.

I love these crazy bastards but I think this is the end of my life as an auteur. There are other characters in the city who would make interesting case studies but it just wouldn’t be the same. With this in mind, and so that I can get back to writing, I declare the project closed and leave my initial letter of enquiry as a footnote to what could have been. 

Dear Sirs,

When the xylophone man passed away, Nottingham united in a collective mourning. Strangers in shops would eagerly recollect when they first came across him and their favourite memories. To be honest these only ever boiled down to two things; a toothless grin of utter delight and what can only be described as contempt for melody. Although the British are renowned for taking hopeless losers to their hearts, there appeared to be a more sociological reason for the respect; something we at LeftLion were quick to capitalise on and has since become the guiding principle of our style.

The xylophone man represented continuation, predictability and routine. Just like the lions in the square and the Cloughy statue, you knew he would always be in the same place banging out the same wrong notes. Seeing his toothless grinning face on a daily basis was comfort, partly because we were glad to see he hadn’t frozen to death and also because he represented a knowable member of the community.

I see you as following on in this long and important tradition of local cultural mythology. Like the Xylophone man you represent continuation, individuality and community. For this reason your story needs to be told and I would like to tell in the form of a documentary.

The reason people come into your shop, quite frankly, is because you politely harass them. The fruit and veg is just a front for this social indulgence. You are odd, eccentric and certainly far more interesting than the mass-produced celebrities we naively worship on television. To me you display defiance and individuality in an increasingly bland and homogenous world. You espouse traditional values that are mocked by today’s standards: You are Christians, Royalists, patriotic and perhaps most uniquely of all, a solid family unit. In an era which has seen the nuclear family implode and create a multitude of complex patterns, you are twins who have remained lovingly and loyally together at each other’s side. I find this quite beautiful and inspiring and am convinced would enthral people. I see you as a living breathing Ealing comedy, the ‘little man’ politely sticking two fingers up at a bland bureaucratic rationality, retaining impeccable manners throughout.

In a strange twist of fate I see you more often than my own father and this is something I would like to allude to in the documentary, should you agree. I see this as a comment on society as well as the tale of two absolute rascals. If you agree I’ve got a lot of issues to look into. I may even have to fund this out of my own pocket. It would be the best money I’ve ever spent.

I have excellent links through the Nottingham Writers’ Studio and my capacity as Literature Editor at Leftlion so I think we could produce something special with expert guidance (e.g. Michael Eaton MBE would be one such figure.) Of course the documentary could potentially change your life or give you publicity which you may not want. The documentary would also require me to enter your life. This could be; at home, out on a date, at the theatre watching ‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’, on an infamous sojourn to the Cornish coast, at suppliers, family, those fine restaurants you frequent and of course at that posh naff Broadway cinema to see Mash re-runs. This would be a necessary sacrifice if I was to tell your story but at the same time, I wouldn’t push you to do things you didn’t want. This would be a democratic project, with all proceeds split between everyone involved.

I write for free for LeftLion because I love my city and I’m a proud citizen. I hope this is vindication of my good intentions.
In the spirit of what I perceive to be your personality I have included a stamped addressed envelope for your reply and whatever your decision, I look forward to future conversations whilst weighing out bananas (‘freshly plucked from Woodthorpe Park’)

To read a previous interview with the Thompson Brothers